In the spirit of full disclosure, I am a happy woman. I'm healthy, I have a wonderful husband, two kids I adore, and a job I like most days. Still...in a week filled with alarm clocks, laundry, carpool, pet food, making love, making meals, trash days and Mondays, it's easy to lose yourself. And sometimes you don't even know you're lost, until someone holds a mirror up for you.
And then you remember. Yes. I am an artist. I can create, paint, draw, write. I can have meaningful adult discussions about more than pop culture and my children's lives. I can think about a world outside my bubble. I can travel. I can love new people. I can change. I can evolve.
My friend holds that mirror up for me. And it is a gift. He's a fabulous writer. For me...one of the best. He challenges me. He's helping me to, as he calls it, "look without seeing." What is beyond the obvious? What is the back story of what your eyes are focused on?
The other day, I was taking kids to school at 7 a.m. This is what I wrote when I got back home. I sent this to my "teacher."
I glanced in my rearview mirror. There was a pickup truck behind me with a teenage boy and girl. He was beautiful in the way teenage boys can be. Nice smile, long eyelashes, strong chin. The kind of face you knew would be handsome in manhood. She wore big glasses, no makeup. Delicate nose, porcelain skin, long straight hair. They were both lovely. She sat pressed up against her door. Not his girlfriend, I thought, or she'd be closer. Probably a neighbor girl he gives a ride. She would say something to him, then look down shyly. He'd look down shyly then smile showing those perfect teeth. Then he'd look out his window. Then he'd look at her. She showed him something on her wrist. He smiled. Then looked in her eyes. Really looked in them. Then she looked down shyly. Then he turned and looked out his window. She's in love with him, I thought. Teenage love with him. I wonder if he knows. I wonder if he feels something. She looks forward to these mornings I thought. She's sad on the weekends when she doesn't have these moments with him. I wonder if he knows that.
Got an A from teacher that day. I've got lessons for him as well. Different class. He's coming along.
I can create, paint, draw, write. I can have meaningful adult discussions about more than pop culture and my children's lives. I can think about a world outside my bubble. I can travel. I can love new people. I can change. I can evolve.
I've been a graphic designer for nearly 30 years and for some crazy reason I decided I wanted to write a book. So I did, and now I'm writing another. Looking for that one person to believe in me.